This is Part 2 on my series about leaving social media. For Part 1, click here!

My friends weren’t waiting for me now that I’d left social media… so who was? My children were there waiting. They didn’t need to be told that it was good for mom to put the phone down, they just knew it. I immersed myself in their education with greater vigor and interest. I took their schooling far more seriously. Granted, that was in part that this break up with social media coincided with the beginning of Junior High, which was just going to require more careful planning and attention. But, nevertheless, I embraced it. I started to take more seriously the planning that went into the long term goals of education I had for my children. Getting my head out of the shallow waters of this week of this month of this grade, and popping up to see the ocean in front of me that had to be crossed to get to the high school finish line. My teaching became more elevated. My leading by example became more important than ever. I was going to tackle those difficult literature selections with my older kids, I was going to do those science experiments (so help me, on my best day, I am a garbage Science teacher, but I’m trying, darnit!), I was going to research those artists so I could present a solid picture of them and their works, I was going to reeducate myself in history and read greater works surrounding those historical events. I was going to be present for each question, not making them wait for me to finish responding to a post or watching some stranger’s hack on how to properly shoe a horse (don’t even pretend you haven’t come across a farrier video on socials. Sometimes the algorithm really gets you watching strange and far off things).  

And what about my little ones? I realized that I am in a strange era of life. One in which I am juggling puberty, but also nursing a baby and changing diapers. One where I am teaching one child how to apply makeup, and watching another child twirl in Disney princess dresses. While the Junior Highers and baby were getting a lot of attention, the middle littles were missing out on conscientious and intentional attention. I swapped notifications for nature walks, Reels for read alouds, and cleaning videos for cuddling. I responded to the little ones with greater interest because I had less to distract me. I had time to look at rolly polies, count stepping stones, and go on rabbit trails when studying mammals to find how whales nurse their young. (Did you know that a whale’s milk is the consistency of toothpaste?!)  When nursing my own baby, I had more time to eye gaze.

One unexpected and strange thing that occurred when I broke away from socials was how I interacted with my camera in regards to my children. This feels shameful and embarrassing to admit, but I’m already this far, so I’m just going to confess. I realized, without doing it intentionally, that many of the times I took pictures of my children, I was doing it with the filter of what I could show of them to other people. This may sound strange, and if I hadn’t discussed this strange phenomena with a couple of other people who also had this experience leaving social media, I might have thought it was just a me problem. It turned out it wasn’t. I stopped trying to get the perfect angle, the perfect lighting, the mess out of the background. I stopped taking pictures of literally EVERYTHING (more on that later), and started living in the moment a bit more. Sometimes I would go to grab my phone to take a picture and then consciously put it down to just live that moment with them “for real life”, as my 5 year old would say. The pictures in my camera roll now held only what I needed to enjoy for myself, with a sprinkling of things the grandparents would enjoy. This was freeing. 

I need to be accurate. Some of these things have been a gradual progression. Some of these things were overnight changes. And all of these things? All of these things have been done imperfectly. I can’t pretend that I always put my phone, my book, my kindle, or my dishwashing down to immediately respond and create a bonding moment with every child. I can’t pretend that I have turned into some Charlotte Mason, earth mother who has abolished all technology in favor of frolicking through the flowers with my gaggle of children. Oh, that I was that mother!

But since breaking up with the time sucking apps, I suddenly had more mental space for my children. I had less to distract me and keep me from the fleeting years of childhood that slip away like starchy pasta water through a colander. Gone in an instant leaving behind only a cloud of steam to remind us of the liquid that once was. 

So what else was there to fill my time now that I abandoned the feed and the people on the feed abandoned me?

(Stay tuned next week for Part 3!)