To My Big Sister,

I know I’m parenting differently from how you did. I know that the resources and support groups I have are more than what you had. I know you have some regrets in your parenting journey (um, actually I think we all do!) but I just want you to know, you made an impact on how I parent.

I’m proud of you. For feeding your girls. You nursed, and it wasn’t as long as I have nursed mine, but that’s okay, because you nourished them and fed them and kept them safe. Formula worked for you after a while, and I’m glad my nieces have been well loved and had full tummies. That’s what matters.

I’m thankful for you. While I was going to concerts, smoking too many menthols, and living the single life, you told me about the 4th trimester. And I remembered. When I had my own babies, you reminded me that I should soothe my children when they were tiny, no matter what anyone said, they were little and needed mama.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry you felt pressured to put your girls in the nursery when you weren’t quite okay with it. I’m sorry that you didn’t have access to the loads of parenting resources I have today and that it was hard to find the support you needed. I’m sorry well-meaning mothers tried to push their parenting styles on you.

I look up to you. Like I said, we do stuff differently. But that doesn’t mean you haven’t influenced me. It doesn’t mean I’m not incredibly proud of you. It doesn’t mean I think my way is better. You’ve protected, loved, nurtured, and cared for your girls. You homeschool them, make special activities for them, and bake the most elaborate cakes for their birthdays. 

I love you. And I’m proud to be your little sister. 

Love,

 “Tordy”